You Are Not Alone

Our brains are a tricky, and complex work of neurological synapses. It is said that the brain is what controls our bodies reaction and the way we perceive visual stimulation. I have come to find out that my brain has been playing tricks on me for a very long time. It has fooled me into believing that my survival instinct is fed by a reward system.

Addiction is an interesting enemy, while at the same time being your best friend. The friend who is always there. The friend who you can turn to when things are bad, and who will listen. Addiction comes from the reptilian part of our brains known as the survival center. There is a miscommunication between signals of logic and reasoning. When the brains reward center is triggered, it releases Dopamine and makes you feel great. Happiness surrounds you, everything is beautiful and the rush you get from life is outstanding. However, this is only temporary. When you come crashing back down to reality, an overwhelming sadness encompasses your entire being. Life is mundane and repetitive. You do not want to see the world through these eyes. You do not like it when your reward center is not being activated. Your basic survival becomes entrenched and ultimately linked to the release of Dopamine in your brain. You feel as if life is not worth living without this rush. You would give anything and disregard everything just to feel this way again. Soon your life revolves around this feeling and it is all you want. Nothing else matters and it is only a stepping stone to the end result of a Dopamine release. This situation sounds bleak and depressing, and sadly , this is a reality for a vast majority on this planet. How can such an evil miscommunication be present in so many?

This is a question I have pondered for sometime now. The idea of the escape from “reality” because we don’t like what we see. This is understandable as you look around at the world and the state it is in. The day to day, slave to the grind rat race of running on the hamster wheel, and never really going anywhere. No matter what you do, not much seems to change and it is apparent that only a small percentage of the population will never truly struggle with anything as far as material possessions go. From this perspective, it is easily observed why so many turn to Alcohol or Drugs. Put the time in on the wheel to pay for the short time away from reality. At first glance this seems a viable explanation. But, if you think of it from a universal perspective, from an energy stance we may find an even deeper reasoning for addictions.

We are all beings of light and energy. Energy is free flowing and everywhere. If we are energy coming into this planet at the speed of illumination, then suddenly grabbed and taken into a body prison, this would not be an acceptable situation for most. If those people remembered that feeling of freedom, and that this all did not feel normal, like something is off, they would want to seek a way out. I think that the ones who struggle with addictions are not weak, they are homesick. This “reality” they have been tossed into is not natural to them because deep down they are truly trying to remember what they are. The everyday struggle is a constant battle of accepting a prison sentence. From this perspective the idea of getting “high” makes perfect sense. It is a phone call home. It is a glimpse into the ether were we came from. I have been on a “spiritual awakening” journey for most of my life.

Could this be the true reason for the war on drugs? Because the ones controlling this reality know that their system cannot coincide with noncompliance? You will never be truly devoted to this establishment continually seeking a way out. Think about how much this system will punish you for doing this. Most of the people incarcerated are in there for drugs. Not only are they a temporary way out, but also a way to get around the industrial prison many are in, because you can make money on peoples mental vacations. I have been caught in this cycle most of my life. I have been an addict on all levels of escape from this place. This constant battle has taken away many aspects of my life and had me locked in the legal system for a majority of my existence here. A year and half ago today, I decided to stop this cycle. I decided to stop fighting myself. I have been clean and sober since that date. Let me tell you, nothing has gotten any easier and in fact on many levels it is actually worse. I have nowhere to run. I have no way to hide. I have to stand and face this reality and everything it throws at me. It has been a long hard road and I am constantly tested. This is not a test of reality, this is a test of my soul. The strength to remember that I do not have to use a product to know myself. If I remember what I am and where I come from, then I will always have the ability to access that energy. I am always capable to face this reality no matter what it throws at me and continually grow with the lessons learned about myself.

This is the greatest thing I have gained from sobriety. Instead of constantly seeking a way out, I have found the ability to observe with the eyes of my soul and seek the way in. I have searched and searched most of my life for a way out, not understanding that I had been looking for a way in. This world is set up to make you not see this especially with Alcohol. It is pushed in our faces as a reward for a hard days work. This being despite the fact that it is one of the leading causes of death and disease on this planet. Think about that for a minute.

What they trick you into seeing as a reward for taking part in their system is silently killing you and will eventually be the cause of your demise. This is not a way out, this is a definite way to keep you involved in the system for temporary rewards that lead to your death. This is not a grand prize. We are strong and powerful beings of energy and we need to remember this. Anything is possible if we truly remember what we are, and what we are capable of. This idea of chasing this temporary release from bondage is allowing you to be kept in the wheel going nowhere. Instead, try to remember that we are the release. We are the energy we are seeking and we are the way home. This is the reason I do not agree or support AA or NA. They try and tell you that you are powerless. They try and tell you that you will not succeed without putting your faith in a higher power. These organizations just regurgitate the same bullshit that religions do. Don’t get me wrong, if these organizations help you that is great. I just approach this on a different level of understanding. Chasing distractions will only lead to more distractions. Eventually, we realize we have spent our whole life chasing something that was always there in the first place. Through this perspective, it does not matter what comes our way or what we have to face. We know that truly deep down we are not physical. All of this play on reality is an illusion. The real reason why we are here is to remember what we are and where we came from. This leads to a very deep metaphysical and psychological discussion in discovery. In my next post I will dive more into these realizations of the awakening process. If anyone of you are reading this, and you have the affliction of addiction, please know you are not alone. Understand there is nothing wrong with you and you are not evil. Please love yourselves and try to remember you are the power. You are the energy you seek. You are the love you cherish. You are connected. You are the Ether. We are one and one is all. I love all of you.